Using the word “conquer” in that overused idiom is frightening to me. All of yesterday was scary, leaving me numb for awhile.  Orlando is pretty far away from me, but it’s somewhere almost all of us have been….maybe not to a nightclub but certainly to one of their many entertainment venues.  And to be told to pray or to love comes up short in my experience.

I listened to the news most of the day feeling unconnected and empty, watched as others were able to react appropriately with sadness and disgust.  How can this happen over and over and nothing changes.  I think  assault guns should not be available and I think that we have to be careful not to incite crazy people to take horrific action.  Simplistic, I know…

I looked for someone to help me put it all in perspective, for something I could feel. The Tony Award Ceremony actually helped.  Many of the participants offered their thoughts and sympathy but an actor, Frank Langella , helped me a bit more:

When something bad happens we have three choices: we let it define us, we let it destroy us, or we let it strengthen us. Today in Orlando we had a hideous dose of reality, and I urge you Orlando to remain strong.” The actor closed his remarks by saying, “We will be with you every step of the way.”  Later he told reporters  “I had to say something about it.” The actor, 78, said the massacre left him feeling disgust, anger.” I react to things much more profoundly than I did when I was 60, 50,” he said. “This violence, sense of madness that seems to be pervading this country is terrifying me.”

I was able to sleep, but now I’m awake again and need to find more answers….I was not able to publish my travel story this week.